I Am Horrible

In: Other Topics

Submitted By zairuchan13
Words 332
Pages 2
You know what? I'm horrible.

I tell numerous lies. I make up stories. I push those people who love me away. And, most of all, all of these things that I've done, I still feel like it's their fault.

I always put the blame to them, without caring what they would feel. And, sometimes, I hurt them. Not only physically, but mentally too. I really wish this suffering would end though.

But the suffering really isn't coming from there. My own suffering planted its roots inside my heart and will never be removed until I have tye courage. But the problem is, I actually don't have it.

It sucks for this to happen. I really want to know when did I feel so vulnerable that at times, I actually want to break down and cry. But, I can't for some unknown, and maybe stupid, reasons. I really don't get this feeling.

Maybe it's just my hormones reacting. Or maybe I have a psychological disease. I hope it's the first one. Besides, I am at 'that' age. But for some reason, all of my peers are practically, what most would call, normal. Or maybe they're just good at hiding it? Or maybe they have somone who they could talk to about this? I wish I also had one, but it seems it's too late for me to have that kind of wish. 'Cause from the start, I never felt I belong im their circle.
The reason why I prefer writing my feelings is that I trust my phone than a living person. No, I'm just kidding. I'd actually choose a phone over someone who could talk to me since I know my phone won't deject me and would "listen" to my endless blabbes. I really want to write.

I actually feel a bit better after writing, but even after I typed all the words I want to say, I just can't help but go back to the place where I despise.…...

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